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Unapologetically: Why We Ban Professionals From The Community

Someone has been giving me red flags for about 3 months now and yesterday I ran out of patience dealing with their very alarming selfish, entitled and disrespectful behaviour. So, I imposed on them a well-deserved fat ban from the community and all our work and my head was steaming.

This morning, I had to tell my assistants about this update on the ''Banned Professionals'' list we have and I remembered that about 6 weeks ago when I recruited a new assistant they asked me: ''Why do we have Rejected and Banned Professionals and Applications for the Sexperts Business Community and our upcoming promotional platform for professionals?''

Here's why we have those lists and why I ban professionals.

Rejected vs Banned

Rejected applications and professionals are those who do not fit in the category ''sex and relationships experts''. They may be mainstream-trained counsellors for instance, or dog-trainers who just want to be present and listed everywhere (true story).

Banned professionals are those who have shown through their interactions and conduct with us that they do not share our values about community and working together to uplift the whole industry. They have shown us they are selfish - it's all for themselves, they want to leech and that's all.

Types of Community Members: Team Players and Leeches

I've been in many business communities over the past 7 years - online and in person. Local to my area of Oxford(shire) UK and International communities too.

And I've seen it again and again - there are two types of community members.

There are the folks who show up to support the community, to share their knowledge, to learn from others, they are open to collaborate, they speak about you in rooms that matter. They ask you - How can I support your work? They send you relevant materials to what you do. They introduce you to people who can make a difference in your business.

And because you see their amazing heart and genuine care, you respond with the same, not from a sense of obligation, but because you're now really connected to this genuine and generous soul and you love connecting with them and supporting them.

Then there's always a leech or two and they show up to meetings to ask their questions, get the support and then they're gone. They message and email you for private calls where you're milked by them for support, and they never ever have anything to give to the community - because they don't give a damn.

I've sat in so many business community meetings where a known leech comes in and everyone rolls their eyes and the mood is ruined. We know they'll be in the meeting for 10-20mins to serve their needs, then making an excuse, and leaving promptly right after.

Well, guess what... I can't and won't stand this in the Sexperts Business Community and everything we build.

You either care about the industry as a whole and have a community and collaborative spirit or you don't.

If you do care - I'll do my absolute best to support your work. If you don't - you'll be banned from my community. Go figure it out on your own.

I won't have leeches to spoil it for everyone whose heart is in the right place!

So, am I harsh?


Am I protective of my community and the industry?

Hell yeah, I am!

It is bloody difficult to make it in this industry considering the challenges we face from conservative politics, restrictions on advertising and shit social media platforms. 

We don't need more bad experiences and leeches to ruin our moods, spaces and spirits!

F*ck that!

I want our members to feel safe. I want our members to not be exploited. I want this community to be full of people who care about the importance of our work on a global scale.

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